She never liked talking about those days. The days she woke only to do drugs all day all night and start again in the morning. She don't remember how long this went on When she woke up she was in Jail again. This was nothing new it was actually a good thing. A bed three meals no drugs at least until she could get things rolling. First let's start the game, request the infirmary for methadone or kick cold turkey she usually went cold turkey but she knew this time was different she had been using a lot the pain was unbearable, life was unbearable. She could not think of that now. If only she could remember why she got popped this time. She would try to stay clean but to much pain. She felt alone and confused. How did things get this bad? How did she end up on her way to prison? Wow, it all happened quickly.
She took her child to school that day she was in preschool. She was a perfect child never a problem. She made her promise to pick her up not to leave her. It was as if her child knew. She went back home finished getting high She never noticed the cars they were many surrounding her house. They came from everywhere Cops in riot gear, ATF, FBI, SWAT. What would the neighbors think after all she grew up in that house. She thought she would be okay their were no drugs left. Everything was used up. She thought but a cop came out of the room with rigs (syringes) and drugs where did those come from dam She knew her cousin had been at her house the Cops where after him but they settled for her. She was high her children were crying hitting the cops. One officer called them animals she told them they are scared let her calm them down. One White officer said okay the Mexican judged her. She didn't care she told him "unless you have been in my shoes don't judge her soul" at that point the officer asked her why if she was intelligent did she allow her life to get that bad. She look at the Mexican and said that is my family they rather take my children away than help me get up. He shook his head her parents showed up. They got the children and the one in preschool would know later. The white officer waited until the children to leave and he allowed her to kiss and tell them she loved them to say their prayers and read their bible. The middle child said you to mommy at the same time okay. Her child was two how would she know the time. Her child quickly ran back and hug her tight I love you mommy never forget that. She was high but some how this conversation has never left her mind. She also remembered the promised she broke again...man how did she get this deep in the game. She never did time every time she got lucky and got out. Not this time she had to fight this in court she was looking at the max of 8 years. She really didn't care at that point she was angry. The DA had her he wanted a rental agreement. She paid the bank for the house they said the house was bought with drug money. But if she pleaded guilty and did 16 months felony time state time. He would not arrest her parents. Wow she could not let that happen it didn't matter about her the children would be taken care of maybe she could change get a trade for a job when she got out. She hated every thing about herself not one thing was any good and now prison. How deep was this going to go the hole was getting deeper. She could get drugs in prison and business would start. She was in deep one night she woke up in a church service. Crying asking God to forgive her. She needed a second chance for she was at her worse. She was doing 16 months she started going to church and it was harder than you think every one of those inmates watched everything she did. They would start fights she would fight if she had to and she had to. Nothing was good in that place except the fact that half the place was family. Sad but true grandma called it the vacation resort. She tried had to begin to like herself and forgive herself she would only do the 16 months then it was over right. (While in prison unknown to her she was given 3yrs and 2 felonies.) she never knew until 25yrs later. She will one day be able to talk about her time here but she will never give the devil Glory God used this time to help her he heard her cry and he put her on the mountain top to find a way to stop abusing her body with drugs. She needed to be a GODLY Mother Godly women. This was her goal......
She took her child to school that day she was in preschool. She was a perfect child never a problem. She made her promise to pick her up not to leave her. It was as if her child knew. She went back home finished getting high She never noticed the cars they were many surrounding her house. They came from everywhere Cops in riot gear, ATF, FBI, SWAT. What would the neighbors think after all she grew up in that house. She thought she would be okay their were no drugs left. Everything was used up. She thought but a cop came out of the room with rigs (syringes) and drugs where did those come from dam She knew her cousin had been at her house the Cops where after him but they settled for her. She was high her children were crying hitting the cops. One officer called them animals she told them they are scared let her calm them down. One White officer said okay the Mexican judged her. She didn't care she told him "unless you have been in my shoes don't judge her soul" at that point the officer asked her why if she was intelligent did she allow her life to get that bad. She look at the Mexican and said that is my family they rather take my children away than help me get up. He shook his head her parents showed up. They got the children and the one in preschool would know later. The white officer waited until the children to leave and he allowed her to kiss and tell them she loved them to say their prayers and read their bible. The middle child said you to mommy at the same time okay. Her child was two how would she know the time. Her child quickly ran back and hug her tight I love you mommy never forget that. She was high but some how this conversation has never left her mind. She also remembered the promised she broke again...man how did she get this deep in the game. She never did time every time she got lucky and got out. Not this time she had to fight this in court she was looking at the max of 8 years. She really didn't care at that point she was angry. The DA had her he wanted a rental agreement. She paid the bank for the house they said the house was bought with drug money. But if she pleaded guilty and did 16 months felony time state time. He would not arrest her parents. Wow she could not let that happen it didn't matter about her the children would be taken care of maybe she could change get a trade for a job when she got out. She hated every thing about herself not one thing was any good and now prison. How deep was this going to go the hole was getting deeper. She could get drugs in prison and business would start. She was in deep one night she woke up in a church service. Crying asking God to forgive her. She needed a second chance for she was at her worse. She was doing 16 months she started going to church and it was harder than you think every one of those inmates watched everything she did. They would start fights she would fight if she had to and she had to. Nothing was good in that place except the fact that half the place was family. Sad but true grandma called it the vacation resort. She tried had to begin to like herself and forgive herself she would only do the 16 months then it was over right. (While in prison unknown to her she was given 3yrs and 2 felonies.) she never knew until 25yrs later. She will one day be able to talk about her time here but she will never give the devil Glory God used this time to help her he heard her cry and he put her on the mountain top to find a way to stop abusing her body with drugs. She needed to be a GODLY Mother Godly women. This was her goal......
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