She could only whisper but he heard........

she was now on her way to prison how did this happen? One minute she was attending church carrying her bible she was in Junior High the next thing she was on drugs and lost alone and hating God. She remembered the day she was angry at God, Her sister called her to get to the hospital their brother was in an accident. She refused to go she new it is only a broken leg. She said no no no I am not going he is fine. He had called early that day to tell her she needed to find a good man for her two little girls her second daughter was 3 weeks old. He was hit by a drunk driver his beautiful voice she would no longer hear, his showing up and keeping her in line was not to happen, why? Why? He was sober on his bike and he was gone just like that. She began to spin out of control she was angry, she wanted to make the pain leave the screaming inside just became louder she used what she could to stop the pain she knew God but she was lost she blamed him the pain was to much to bare. When she realized it had gone to far she was on the Grey Goose chained in waist chains. She realized how scary things were when they stopped at a rest stop to use the bathroom all chained. People grabbing their children like she was a murder..lol..she really didn't care at that point if she could she would do something like grab a purse an take the care. She couldn't they were chained together. As they arrived at the gate Hang on Snoopy started playing, as the gates closed 96 tears played. She arrived how did things get so deep she started by just hang out with other kids that didn't know God she started out  right things just got too deep.. the pain the anger her brother...her life would never be the same. She could only whisper now she had to do this time she loved her children how could she not see what she craved and wanted was before her all along, her selfness put her there no excuses no more she did all this nobody was at her side. Wow, processing was an experience you never forget you are no longer your own you are the state of California's property. They make sure you know that from the time that gate slams. Her family was there it would be okay she just had to do 16 months just 16 months. she had already done 6 county dead time it would never count. That had went really slow the drive up was nice being in county you don't see the sun much. The prison was way down south on a hill. It had sun but it wasn't freedom. She tried to stay out of trouble but trouble was her name she had to defend herself. She really didn't belong there or did she? She wanted to be a good mother take care of her babies but she had to get rid of all that hate. She had to learn to like herself and not let anyone take advantage of her again. Life had to get better..she knew in her heart she needed GOD!!! She needed to return to her first love. But she could only whisper that....