I start Chemo last Friday.......this last week the truth

This last week as been a testament to God's Mercy and power. Kidney Cancer is a painful disease most cancers are not painful but this one for me is. In 2009 I was taking 160mg a day of strong pain medication. I was down to taking them as needed. When I began the NexAvar I was taking about 40 to 60mg they have raised it and I am embarrass by the high dose, I wish I could just handle the pain and keep going but it is debilitating pain. Meaning when I have pain I cant move because pain begins. The pain becomes to the point of shaking due to pain. It is totally crazy. Enough pain talk, I have to tell you that my face and scalp hurt beyond words, I have to talk about this. My scalp is so dry it hurts bad. I have never experienced anything like this before. I have put oil on my scalp and if relieves it I am going to go to the beauty store and see if the have a mask to sooth your scalp. Maybe I will go to the student cosmetologist school and get a facial to help with the dry skin on my face. I most definitely need a mani-pedi my husband is even willing to get one his feet are hurt him because he has severe back pain.
I will find out Monday the results of the CT Scan and how I am doing so far. They will probably raise my pain medication because my blood pressure is higher than usual. The reason is pain. I would be fine if I didn't have pain.
We went in to see my kidney specialist. He was happy to tell me that my one kidney is kicking like a champ. My levels are all good. I was relieved to here it, even thou I felt a peace that everything is going to be fine.
I feel that way all the time. I feel guilty because I know everything is going to be fine and yet my children and husband have a glint of worry in their face and eyes. I love my children and grandchildren. I will not allow them to see the worse of this disease. Should I be unable to care for my own basic needs I will not put it on my family I will admit myself to a nursing home. It wont come to that but that is what I would choose.
My father is elderly and has many health issues. We have concerns with him being alone right now. there are many thoughts on my mind but none are about me...lol.

All in all taking NexaVar has been so far a positive experience I do experience nausea and stomach pain and cramping, Gas X helps and Miralax I would recommend the brand name I tried the regular store brand they were not as easy or effective as the name brand. That is my opinion.

Eating is a issue I cant drink milk it hurts my stomach I am trying different substitutes we shall see. The one thing that I can eat is Peach and Cream. It is a recipe I got of the web. You don't cook anything. It is an energy food. Here is my recipe:
2cups of Oatmeal
Honey (real)
Yogurt Original
peaches (if in season use fresh slice up and put use around two large any type your choice)(one can)
  Throw in all of it in to a bowl and mix you add like two scoops of yogurt pour on the honey (to your taste) you can add other things like cranberries, raisin, and granola, nuts. I love this cold stuff feels better in my stomach but it cant be sweet and sugary as before it tastes really good. I love it.
I also love to drink Knox broth, and lots of water. I can eat to much sometime but most of the time I can eat. It amazes me that I am so hunger and yet have no taste for food. I think of something I may like that I might eat I make it and then I can not do anything but take a few bits. I will try to keep writing as I progress Thu this treatment. They have not given me a time limit on taking chemo it could be as long as 6 months. This last week feels like a life time. Have a wonderful day and week see you next time same bat channel same bat place....How may remember that show and those words at the end of the program.