I have not felt like talking about this stuff I don't like the fact that my kidney is doing great amazes me. No side effects beside pain and being tired. I eat a lot but that is from having to take steroids I am gonna look like the hulk I better start working out. I get scared thoughts try to get me down like wow is this really happening my mom lived to be almost 60 my grandmother lived into her 80s and my grandfather lived to be 75 yrs of age. I don't understand why I have been given this I don't even know what to call it this cross to bear. I want to live to see my grandchildren get married at least the first ones all 14, my two sons have yet to marry and have children. Will I be here for those moments. I believe I will if only by shear love. One more week to go I am looking forward to visiting my tia and her family 50 yrs married how beautiful. I am going to feel good I know it
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